However, if you pay attention right now to your breath, what do you notice?  Many of you will find that, while it is true you are breathing, your breath may be very light, shallow, and barely perceptible.  It turns out that most of us have learned to survive quite well on these tiny, barely-there wisps of breath.  And it’s true.  We are surviving.  But surviving well is a far cry from living well.  And, when it comes right down to it, aren’t you really here to live?

The connection between your breath and your body is innate, irreversible, undeniable, and profound.  Because of the way we are put together, if you are barely breathing, you are barely in your body.  And, even more importantly, if you are barely breathing, you are barely feeling.  And that “barely feeling part”, believe it or not, is what is wreaking the most havoc on your life and your ability to fire it up in the ways you’ve dreamed of for so long.  Remember, your mind has come to believe that it is safest if it consistently leaves the body.  And that mind strategy has A LOT to do with staying away from feeling. 

But, if you have lost your capacity to feel freely, deeply, and fully whatever is up for you in the moment, you have basically lost your ability to wakefully, precisely, and accurately make decisions for yourself which are resonant and aligned.  And without this ability, well…you are not so much choosing your way through life, as much as reacting your way through life. 

But, we’ll get more into feeling elsewhere on the site…  For now, it is enough for you to understand that getting back into your body is critical and one way to do that most powerfully and readily is by bringing consciousness to your breath. 

If you take a minute to focus on your breathing right now, what do you notice?  Is your breath shallow?  Is it coming from higher or lower in your lungs?  Is your breathing fast, slow, medium?  Is your chest tight…or loose?  Does your breath flow freely or is it constricted?  Is your belly relaxed or contracted? 

There are no wrong or right answers to these questions.  Any time you take up a practice which is about becoming more aware of what you are experiencing, it is never about judging that experience as right or wrong.  You are only looking for information.  Every experience you give yourself here is about trying to understand yourself more deeply and clearly - including the experience of watching the ever changing quality of your breath.

For instance, if you’ve noticed that you are breathing rather shallowly, using only the upper portion of your lungs, you can use this as important information.  You may be trying to tell yourself that you are avoiding a feeling or two and have learned to keep the breath “up top” so as not to go too deeply into some scary emotional territory. 

Or perhaps you’ve noticed that your belly is contracted and this is making it difficult for you to breathe fully and comfortably.  This may bring up a memory of being told to “hold your stomach in” because, let’s face it, having a noticeable belly here, in this culture, is just simply out of the question.  (Don’t even get me started here on this one!!  Grrrrrr…  We’ll get further into this subject in other sections of this site having to do with weight and aging!)

Remember that whatever you find, it is important information you are trying to give yourself about what is going on within you.  Not good or bad information.  Just the up-to-the-moment, newsy news about you and your current state of being.

Now, are you beginning to notice that, once you are paying attention to your breath, you oh-so-naturally begin to pay attention to your body?  Perhaps you just unconsciously straightened up so that you could breathe more fully and easily.  Perhaps you recognized a tightness in your throat which you didn’t know was there a second ago.  Or maybe you found that focusing on your breath for even a minute is excruciatingly long and uncomfortable for your mind because c’mon, what are you doing just sitting there breathing when you could be doing something really important and productive!  Again, simply notice your experience without judging yourself.

Your ability to breathe fully and consciously is the means by which you enliven all of your cells.  It calls into action the proper functioning of all of your organs, your blood, your muscle tissue, and your bones.  It is the spark which ignites all other sparks.  It is the life-energy of the Soul itself moving in (enlivening) and out (releasing) of Its vessel, providing the on-going rhythm to which all of your experiences will dance. 

Your full and free breath supports your digestion, your ability to think, your sleep patterns and your sexual desire.  It greatly impacts your creativity, your flexibility, and the length of time you can snorkel under water.  Breathing helps you to find your balance so that you can snowboard, dance, skip or hoola-hoop your way to stardom.  It guides you into your connection with the cosmos and all aspects of physical reality.  And, it reassures the heart and soothes the mind when you find yourself in a challenging and stressful situation.

Breathing practices abound which you can utilize to help you regain the habit of fully breathing - which will help you regain the habit of staying in your body.  Here’s one I invite you to try…

Compartmentalized Breathing

*Imagine that your lungs are divided into three chambers: upper, middle, and lower.  The upper chamber is located just under your collar bone, the middle chamber is at the middle of your chest, and the lower chamber ends just above your diaphragm.

*Take a breath and fill, to the count of three, first the lower chamber, then the middle, and then the upper.  You can say to yourself, “Lower 1…2…3, Middle 1…2…3, Upper 1…2…3″  You can also place your hand over the chamber you are breathing into which can help you get a better feel and focus.

*Hold for the count of three.

*Release the breath, to the count of three, lower 1…2…3, middle 1…2…3, and upper 1…2…3.  And hold for another count of three. 

*Start with two or three of these cycles then, as you feel ready or inclined or curious, slowly add more.

_______________________________

You may practice compartmentalized breathing as often as you like throughout your day.  It is especially helpful: after meals, when you are feeling stressed or notice you are dissociating, when you want to be sure you are fully in your body, after you have made love, before you speak in public, when you wish to oxygenate and revitalize your entire system, or just before challenging your best friend to a pizza eating contest.

Another simple yet powerful practice is to learn how to direct your breath into any and all parts of your body.  Did you know that you can breathe nurturing and vital energy into your lower back?  Or your toes?  Or your right elbow?  It just takes a bit of consciousness and practice. 

Try this:  As you breathe in, consciously invite your breath to enter any part of your body you would like to nurture.  Lightly guide the breath with your intention.  You do not have to work hard at this, or push, or force, or make anything happen.  Your intention, awareness, and breath will be enough.  Simply invite the breath into wherever you wish it to go, and then allow it to go there.  It’s really that easy!

When you first try this, you may not notice much of anything happening.  However, as you practice you will undoubtedly find that there is actually a very visceral, physical sensation that happens when you have breathed into a specific part of your body.  You will literally feel it.  And the feel is one you just may decide you like…very much! 

Breathing consciously like this reminds you that you are indeed, inhabiting a body, and that your body is intricately tied to your breath.  One does not exist without the other.  You are also offering yourself a very kind and nurturing experience, and the more of those you start giving yourself, well…look out!  Entire worlds will change with just that one, little shift.

Breathing fully requires that you consciously open to your breath which is the same thing as saying you get to consciously open to more of yourself.  For instance, you may, as I mentioned above, have been taught to hold your belly in and keep it in, no matter what - especially when that cute someone comes around that you are just dying to get to know better.  But because everything here is connected to everything else, when you tighten one aspect of yourself - like your belly - everything else becomes tightened to some degree as well:   your mind, your heart, your throat, your neck, your shoulders…you get the picture.

And if you’re tightening, you’re most likely doing so because you are scared.  Scared of not being good enough, of what might happen if you let go, or of being out of control.  Opening to yourself means you are turning to face these often long-standing fears - which means you are taking another step towards freeing yourself.  And…opening is a process.  For, opening the heart-space can bring up fears around intimacy and love as well as feelings of deep vulnerability.  Opening the belly may catalyze fears of not being worthy or beautiful or acceptable.  And opening the throat can show us how deeply afraid we are to articulate and share our own wildly beautiful and unique truth.

And what important practice plays a part in opening each of these spaces?  You guessed it.  Breathing.  Breathe into your heart-space and see what happens.  Fill your belly with deep breath and feel the sensation.  You might be surprised by how something so very simply and elegantly natural, can catalyze such a profound change in the way you experience yourself.

Oh, and one more teeny-weeny thing your breath will catalyze?  Presence.  Breathing consciously will immediately bring you into NOW.  The only place in “time” which really, truly matters.  Now.  This moment.  Where all of life actually happens.  And once you are here, Now, the sky is the limit as to what you can create and experience. 

All of this from just breathing?  Really?  Yes.  All of this and more.  This is how powerful and important it is for you to begin fully and consciously breathing - as often as possible.  Your breath truly is the doorway into the most hidden aspects of You and all that is possible for you here on earth.

So now, off you go to notice your breath, surrender to your experience, take in the information you are giving yourself, and see what happens.  You may just find yourself exuberantly welcomed back home, into your very own bodacious bod, right where you belong!  And that means, you’re now getting ready for the real party to begin!

Her heart picks up a rhythm which begins asking her to move, to breathe, to remember.  And she does.  She knows it is her time.  She has seen this day many times before in her visions when she is alone and still and silent.  She recognizes the tightness in her belly which helps her summon the courage she knows will be required of her now.

She closes her eyes and lets her mind take her back to the time of First Knowing.  She was so young, then.  And she was free.  Her days were spent laughing, playing, and creating from deep inside herself, worlds that were magical and loving and so beautiful.  The Earth knew her well and Loved her deeply.  They played together endlessly in the wind and the rain and the sun and the snow.  Often this young being would lie flat on her Earth Mother, feeling the breath she shared with her beloved planet.  And they would breathe together for hours.

When the Changing Times came, she was unsure at first what was happening.  What she knew to be true in her beautiful world, all the wonder she carried within her, slowly began to shift.  It shifted into something unrecognizable to her small being.  She was forgetting.  She was becoming anxious and more reserved.  She began to be afraid - to speak, to laugh, to spin wildly around and around as she so loved to do.  The looks and stares of the Others suddenly felt threatening.  And she began to hide.  She hid so well that she could no longer remember the feeling of being free.  And the forgetting lasted until today, the day of the storms forming in the North, and on the inside of the now-grown woman.

Her life up to this point had revealed a series of periodic glimpses of that other world, her world, which she loved so much.  These glimpses alternately thrilled and terrified her.  She let them pass as swiftly as they came and worked hard at whatever tasks were at hand.  She married, had children, and tried to be happy.  But the questions never ceased in her mind.  The anxious feeling that she was missing something would linger on and on.  She studied and asked questions of others and found that they too knew that something was amiss, and yet they also had found no answers.  And then something happened, something wonderful…

Going about her routine one cloudy, fall day, she overheard part of a conversation.  It went something like this:  ”You are a spark of Divine Consciousness.  You are not separate from anyone or anything here on Earth.  It is all You.  Your connection to the Divine is assured; it can never ever be broken.  And you are so deeply Loved.  You came here to experience, to play, to feel.  You no longer need to control any aspect of your Life.  Simply allow it to unfold before you.  Feel your way now.  Let your mind rest as you will need very little thinking where you are going.  Be present to What Is - and you will find freedom.”  And there it was.  The thing she had forgotten.  Freedom.  As she listened to the words, her body was flooded with Knowing.  She was remembering that which she had put away so very long ago.  She remembered her deep Love - of herself, of Life, of Earth.  She remembered what mattered most to her - the open, expanded sense of her own Heart.  And she remembered who and what she was - a beautiful, limitless Being playing in a beautiful world of form.

In a flash, the conversation was over and she felt herself hurtling back to her current reality.  She held herself very still, and let herself feel her feet on the Earth.  Her Earth.  She could find only wisps of that feeling, that feeling of her True self, that feeling which to her meant freedom.  She knew now more than ever what it was that was missing.  And she knew that she would find it again, and this time, for good. 

And now here today, as she watched the storms gathering in the sky, she knew that it was time for her to reclaim her Life. It was time to take back that which she had given away, and reunite with all the parts of herself she had denied and hidden all these years.  The storms inside were insistent now and urging her onward, onward toward Wholeness, toward peace, toward joy, and most of all, toward freedom.  As the wind began to blow with more and more strength, she could feel the Earth supporting her in what she must do.  She stood up and turned toward the place she had mistakenly called home for so long.  It was time to truly come Home.  It was time for her own Awakening.  And she was ready…

“Wake up, Neo…”  From the movie, The Matrix

But…why?  Why wake up?  All this talk about enlightenment, about awakening, about expanding your reality.  Why go there at all?  Is it really necessary? 

Well…

Waking Up Means You Just Might:

Finally discover what matters most to your heart

Free your mind from its endlessly self-deprecating, demeaning, diminishing, derogatory thoughts

Open to and radically accept every bit of who and what you truly are…right now

Stop feeling that constant, low-level anxiety that starts the minute you wake up

Find yourself actually falling in love with yourself

Leave behind most, if not all, of your daily prescription medications

Know yourself as the powerful creator you really are

Engage freely and skillfully within all levels of your feelings and emotions

Live actual experiences instead of stories which only happen in your head

Experience real intimacy, not to mention real love

Take back your power, your wisdom, your knowing, your authority, and your truth

Live the life of your dreams…and beyond

Laugh more

Cry more

Hear more deeply

Learn to play in mystery and not-knowing

See with new eyes

Take charge of your thoughts

Heal your addictions

Remember your wildness

Let go of control and the need to survive

Be the change, and thus change the world

Find relief in the present as you let go of the illusion of the past and the future

Rediscover and live your passions

Learn to joyfully take responsibility for every nuance of every experience

Create everything you need exactly when you need it

However, Waking Up Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Will:

Become someone completely different

Develop super-powers  (though the ability to think and feel and choose freely could, at this point on the planet, be considered a super power!)

Become lighter than air and float off the planet, while knowingly gazing down upon the rest of us

Never again be angry or frightened or sad or confused

Be bigger, faster, better, or jump higher than everyone else

Never be triggered, bothered or impacted by anything or anyone ever again

Become your mind’s personal version of perfect

Live life in one constant, never-ending, blissed-out state

Be nice all the time - while thinking only nice thoughts

Decide you’re going to give away all your stuff and hightail it to Nepal

Become vegetarian, wear only organic cotton, ride your bike to work, and start hugging trees

Volunteer twenty hours per week crocheting leashes for guide dogs

Join the Peace Corps

Become a spiritual guru with hundreds of followers who worship and adore you

Stop eating Cheetos

__________________________________

What it’s all about…

Engaging your own awakening process is about becoming more and more YOU - the real you who is free from what your mother, your teacher, your fashion magazine, and your boss say you should be.  The you who knows yourself best - better than anyone else actually - and who, if given free reign, would create the most kick-ass, joyful, abundant life ever!  And that’s what this whole awakening thing is about - giving yourself free reign to be, do, and live exactly as you wish most deeply to be, do, and live!

It is not about becoming a different you, a new and improved you or a you who is more acceptable to anyone else.  That’s the old stuff which waking up helps you drop like a hot potato. 

Waking up is about recognizing and freeing yourself from whom and what has been influencing your thoughts, your feelings, your choices, and your actions - without you even knowing it’s happening. 

From the moment you were pushed out of the womb, you’ve been told who you are, what you are, how you should act, what you should and shouldn’t do, what to think, and how to feel, dress, talk and walk.  You’ve been told what’s good about you and what’s bad.  And you’ve been told what you should be when you grow up, how you should smell, what you should drive, and how many hot dogs it’s polite to eat in one sitting. 

I mean, really…how many of those “free choices” you’re making, are actually about pleasing, avoiding, or placating someone or something else?

And then there’s this one…  How many of those “free choices” you’re making these days are actually about staying away from yourself?  You know, the parts of you that are wild, or scary, or messy, or angry, or afraid, or not politically correct?  The parts that your father always frowned upon and that you’ve been told were a problem since kindergarten?  How many of your choices are designed to keep you away from yourself and your feelings because going there would just be too hard and painful and frightening?  If you’re like most human beings, the answer is: PLENTY!

OK.  With all of this said, the good news is you now get to make a choice.  Wake up…or not.  And here’s the kicker.  No matter what you choose, it’s perfect.  Because Divine Consciousness (or God Mind, or Universal Mind, or The Goddess, or Essence or anything else you want to call It) loves all choices.  You are not a better person if you choose to awaken.  And you are not a worse person if you choose to stay right where you are for the next one hundred lifetimes.  It’s all optional, and the options are all good ones as far as Consciousness is concerned.  The only thing that matters is that whatever you choose, it’s what works best for you - and you alone. 

You see, you are already an aspect of Divine Consciousness.  Thus, your Divinity is done.  You cannot become more Divine!  You can become more conscious, more aware, and more awake - which in turn will influence your choices, which in turn will influence the quality of the experiences you give yourself.  And that’s it.  That’s all it is.  A choice made and then experiences which go along with that choice.

It is also helpful to be aware that whenever you make a choice, you have set an intention.  And when you set an intention, everything in the Universe (and beyond!) lines up to support the direction in which you have chosen to travel.  No questions asked, the whole Cosmos turns with you to cheer you on through the next leg of your journey.  Now, how cool is that? 

So, now that you understand that you cannot lose no matter what you choose, perhaps it’s time to take Step One in your awakening process.  It goes something like this:  Take a breath, let go, choose freely, and set that intention.  Then away you go, into the wild, blue yonder where the Great Mystery, the Limitless Cloud of the Unknown, ceaselessly and joyfully awaits your arrival…

Now, that’s a great story, but chances are good that somewhere along the line, you learned to dislike, be uncomfortable with, or even downright despise your body.  Someone - perhaps your mother, or the mean girl in your first grade class, or that group of boys you had to walk past every day on your way home - made a completely inappropriate, derogatory comment about your body which efficiently and permanently stuck in your young, innocent mind as: The Truth.  This experience has undoubtedly since then been validated over and over again in the messages you’ve received from other people, television, movies, fashion magazines, and advertisements. 

The bottom line of all these messages?  Your body, as it is, is just not going to cut it.  And in this torqued out story, if your body isn’t “up to snuff” according to the latest rules of the culture at large, then YOU aren’t up to snuff either.  And that’s just bad news for the mind which wants to belong, and be accepted, and not wind up alone forever on the couch watching Desperate Housewives reruns with a 10lb. bag of potato chips and a six-pack of Diet Coke. 

This, coupled with any trauma you may have experienced in your life (abuse of any kind, a serious accident, severe illness, or anything else which caused you some major pain on any level) has probably made it very difficult for you to stay in your body and actually experience what is going on within and around you. 

What I’m talking about here when I say “out of your body” is a potent little psychological tool you were born with which is called dissociation.  When we dissociate, we go straight out of the body and usually straight into a tiny, tiny portion of the mind which is reserved for just “hanging out” in while the “bad” stuff happens.  The mind believes that if we mentally, psychologically, and emotionally jettison ourselves out of a potentially dangerous situation, we’ll be OK.  Most human beings at this time on earth have become almost professional at dissociating on and off throughout each day.  This natural mechanism which was meant to be hugely helpful and protective in dealing with seriously traumatic situations has now become an ongoing, daily habit for many people as they attempt to navigate lives which are just too full, too stressful, and way too overwhelming.  In other words, we have adapted to lives which are dangerously out of whack by continually utilizing one of our main survival tools - which was designed for rare and occasional use only! 

For instance, if you pull into the parking lot at work first thing in the morning, and wonder how the heck you got there?  You were dissociated during your drive.  When you’re in a meeting and someone asks you a question and you realize you have no idea what anyone is talking about?  Dissociation.  When you buy a half-gallon of Jamoca Almond Fudge Brownie Chunk Caramel Dream and look down to see most of it gone - with barely any memory of eating it?  You guessed it…dissociation.

When you dissociate, you are energetically, psychologically, mentally and emotionally not available to the current situation and again, your mind believes that because you’re not sticking around for the potential pain (the pain of going to a job you can’t stand, the pain of sitting through hours of people droning on and on about stuff that means absolutely nothing to you, the pain that all that ice cream was supposed to ease and comfort), you’re safe.  But get this…you are immeasurably less safe when you are out of your body.  If no one is home to feel and recognize what is going on inside, you cannot possibly make healthy, wise, or empowered choices around what you need or want in any given moment.  This leaves you more vulnerable - not less, which can then lead, at best, to mindlessly going along on autopilot with what everyone else is doing and, at worst, making choices which are diminishing, dangerous, or even more traumatic for yourself.

So why would you choose such a radical strategy for your day-to-day living?  Well, that’s easy.  If you didn’t, you might actually feel what was going on inside of you (you know, like all that existential angst, and anxiety, and hopelessness…not to mention the deep longing for something - your relationship, your job, your ability to speak Martian - anything to be different or better in your life) and that might mean you end up choosing to make some really, really big and mind-blowing changes in and around your personal corner of the Universe.  And everyone knows how the mind feels about change.  Not its favorite subject.

But if you’re one of the one’s (and there are LOTS of you now) who knows it is time for those really, really big changes to begin, then you need to remember this: No Body, No Change.  Period.  The good news?  You can learn to get back into that body of yours - and stay there.  And once you’re back in the driver’s seat of your very  own superbly tricked-out vehicle, you are one giant step closer to knowing and experiencing yourself as a magnificent living being instead of a fearful surviving automaton.   And that’s a big difference.  Because here’s the thing…if you aren’t in the driver’s seat of your own body, then someone or something else is.  And that’s just plain weird.  Who wants someone or something else taking charge of and wreaking havoc on all that beautiful fleshly perfection?

So basically, it is important for you to know that choosing to wrap your Sparky Divine Self within the luscious folds of your unique body was not a big, terrible mistake.  It was part of what you really wanted to experience!  It is a very powerful way for Consciousness (You) to experience Itself (Yourself) in form.  And thus, it turns out that your awakening process involves moving ever more fully into your body so that you can experience every single magical nuance of what it means to be human.  And who would want to miss out on that?

An immeasurably ginormous amount of personal and collective energy is right now, this very moment, outpouring into the vast wasteland of “how do I look?”  The most insignificant part of your body - the outside - is where most of you and everyone else around you have learned to focus your undying attention, all the time, almost every minute of every day.

But the outside of your body is only a tiny fraction of the whole of what it really is.  If you were to dig even just a little bit beneath that surface you are constantly trying so hard to whip into shape, you might surprise yourself with what you find. 

Let’s try this.  Take a look at your body from the inside out…  

As it turns out, your body is one of the most miraculous creations ever.  It is rich with the density of muscle tissue which propels you through all the aspects of your life.  Those muscles overlay bones which give you shape and structure and support.  Joints are layered with connective tissue that responds every time you take a step or bend over or breathe.  Your heart beats ceaselessly, reminding you of the rhythm of the cosmos with which you are deeply and forever connected, while at the same time, sending vital life force to every magnificent bit of you.  Your lungs take in and expel life-giving air, allowing you to actually experience yourself here on earth. Through the perfect complexity of your digestive system, you have the ability to efficiently take in nourishment and expel toxins.  And you are, at the foundation, made up of literally billions of cells - each of which has its own, unique and particular purpose which, in the end, is all about keeping everything working as properly and as gracefully as possible.

So, when you are contemplating the invitation to get back into your body, you are contemplating nothing less than re-inhabiting the miraculous wisdom and sacred majesty of an organism unlike any other, anywhere else in the whole of the Universe.  And who wouldn’t want that on their Cosmic resume? 

Now, this does not mean that you need to ignore the outside of your body.  It’s just that, if you are ever going to truly make friends with what your body looks like on the outside (which is definitely an aspect of waking up), you get to make friends with what your body really and truly IS on the inside.  In fact, that’s actually how most things will work best for you here - inside out.  Get it on the inside, and the outside automatically reflects the pattern back to you in form.  And that is true whether you are talking about your body, or relationships, or how much money you have in your checking account.  More on that later, though.  For now, since you really get how important your body is to your journey of awakening, let’s look at how you might joyfully go about getting back in there!

As a beginning, here’s a practice I like to call:  “I Want, I Want!  I Need, I Need!”  

Every day, a hundred times per day, your body is sending you messages.  It tells you when you’re thirsty and when you’ve properly topped-off your internal tank.  It tells you when your bladder is full, when your stomach is empty, and when you need to rest, breathe more deeply, or put down that last piece of chocolate.  It tells you when you’re too cold and when you’re in danger of burning up.  And it tells you when you need to pick yourself up off the couch, get outside, and weed that garden!   All day long, your body is talking.  The question is; are you listening?     

If you’re like most people today, you’ve probably learned to ignore most of your body’s messages - and you don’t even know you’re doing it.  After all, when was the last time you heard your boss or your teacher or your partner remind you to listen to and honor all of your body’s messages immediately - no matter what else is going on?

So…here’s your assignment:  Quite simply, you are invited to take care of what your body needs as close to the moment you notice that it needs something.  That’s it.  Simple, right?  This means that when you notice you’re cold, you get a sweater.  If you’re thirsty, you get a drink.  If you’re hungry, eat.  And if you’ve gotta pee, do it.  Now.  Not ten minutes from now.  Not right after you finish that document your boss is in his office waiting for.  And not after one more game of Spider Solitaire.  Right.  Now.

Because here’s the thing.  Every time you ignore one of your body’s messages, your psyche registers a version of one or more of the following: “I do not matter.”  “Everything and everyone else is way more important than me.”  “Life here is hard and painful and challenging.”  “No one cares about me.”  “I can’t keep up.”  Chances are, after receiving perhaps a hundred or so of these messages every day, your unconscious view of yourself is pretty much in the toilet.  And that means you are probably intensely looking for validation, support, approval and acceptance from outside of yourself.  And, have you noticed?  That simply never works.  Ever. 

It is your job to validate and accept yourself, as you are, right now.  No one will ever be able to convince you that you are OK, except you.  And getting back into your body with the intention of respecting and honoring its needs, is taking one huge step in doing just that.  Once you have committed to caring for your body, and I mean really caring for it on the deepest levels - which are way beyond deciding that this year for sure you are going to lose that ten pounds you’ve been talking about losing forever - you will actually inhabit your body which will, quite simply and completely, change everything.

For, if you are in your body, listening and responding to what you hear, you are taking charge of yourself again.  You are no longer allowing anything or anyone else to come before or between or underneath your own self and that self’s needs.  You are saying that you do indeed matter, that you are, without a doubt, a vital and important Divine aspect of Consciousness, and you fully intend to treat yourself as such, thank you very much! 

Also, it just so happens that if you’re back in your body, you regain access to feeling (remember feeling?).  And if you are feeling, it is then - and only then - possible for you to identify your own experiences of “resonance” and “alignment” (or dissonance and non-alignment), both of which are THE guiding principals in taking back your own power to choose that which is truly right for you. 

So, it might be helpful to experiment with seeing yourself as the airline steward here to serve on your very own personal jetliner (this would be your body).  You get to saunter down the isle asking yourself if there is anything you need…  More pillows for your nap?  A sexy bubble bath?  A steaming hot beverage?  Your favorite decadent, yummy snack?  The idea is to deeply and fully start giving your body the attention it needs and craves, right when it needs and craves it.  I mean, after all, this is the only body you get this lifetime.  The only one.  And you’ve been ignoring it (not that you really meant to, of course) long enough.  Don’t ya think?

Now, start listening to what your body has to say, and get back in charge of yourself!  I mean it!  Right.  Now.  

Oh, and by the way…  Take up this practice, and I guarantee you will change your life…and isn’t that really what you’re all about?

OK.  So, if we are truly buying into these wise concepts which tell us that there is no new information, that we already Know everything we need to Know, that we are already Divinely Enlightened, and that it is more important than anything to follow our very own, unique, and self-created Path…then why in the world would we need or want or crave…a spiritual teacher?  Or guidance, for that matter?  Or another book on, How to Wake Up your Sacred Big Toe?  Or one more workshop teaching, Ten Steps to a More Spiritual Wardrobe?

Well, ponder this…  Sometimes, it is really, really challenging to see, and I mean really see, the Truth of who and what and where we actually are.  Many of us can get to a significant portion of our own Truth on our own.  But there generally comes a time when we begin to feel a bit stuck, or confused, or frustrated, or scared, or resistant.  Or, we may find ourselves flying along, blissfully doing our very own Spiritual Shuffle, when suddenly, KABAAM!  We call in an experience which takes every bit of our sparkly, Divine wind right out of our sails and we start to wonder (again) just what the heck this whole “waking up” deal is really all about.  Is it even possible?  Or important?  Or worth all the confusing, on-going challenge, for goodness sake?

A good teacher, especially at points like these, can be a light in the darkness, a reminder of why you feel so called to remember yourself so fully.  She can help illuminate parts of yourself which have remained hidden and diminished.  And she can support and soothe and reassure and empower.  But most of all, what a good teacher can do…is point.  Deftly point herself toward her own Divinity, and thus, just as deftly point you toward yours. 

Now, notice I am talking about a “good” teacher.  What exactly do I mean by this?  As a teacher myself, I have pondered, and contemplated, and squirmed, and squinted my way through this question many, many times over.  And I will undoubtedly continue to do so for as long as I feel called to teach.  What follows are some of the guidelines and reminders I have found helpful and supportive for myself as a teacher and as an on-going student of the Divine.

Oh, and I refer to the teacher here as “she” because, well, I am a she and it was just easier to write these this way than constantly using the “she/he” thing.  These guidelines apply to any teacher, no matter their gender, style, religion, beliefs, position, credentials, or galactic origins.  You get the picture…

One more thing.  This is not an exhaustive list.  Feel free to add to it, subtract from it, and modify it to suit your own Truth, wisdom and knowing.  I invite you to let this list be a catalyst for your own mind and heart in discovering what the really important and must-have qualities in a teacher are for you. 

Are You My Teacher?

*Your teacher teaches by example.  In other words, she walks her talk as often as possible – and when she doesn’t, she isn’t afraid to say so, and then do the work of getting to the bottom of what is going on for her.  We’re talking about integrity here.  Which in a spiritual teacher is…well…it’s almost everything. 

For instance, if she is teaching about intimate relationships, it’s really helpful if she’s in one.  You know, working it out, asking a million questions, and finding her own answers.  If she is helping you understand and work with your own emotions and feelings, it is imperative that she is skilled at understanding and working with her own.

There is really no way around this one.  I have experienced teachers teaching me about stuff they had not yet embodied or walked fully into.  It’s not an experience I care to repeat.  (At the same time though, giving myself that very experience is part of what has made my own integrity as a teacher so important to me.  Sigh…  The ever-present Divine paradox.

*She is not hung up in any way on anything which sounds or feels like, “My way or the highway.”  She honors the uniqueness and validity inherent in all paths.  She makes it very clear, very often, that she is there to support your own wild (or tame), crazy (or sane), and unique way.

*She has good boundaries.  OK.  Actually, she has great boundaries.  That’s how important this one is.  I had a teacher once who, smack in the middle of my time with her, decided she wanted me to be her “best friend”.  What?  After the initial ego-glow wore off, I became so confused and scared and angry, that our relationship truly began to fall apart.  I didn’t at the time understand what was happening, or how to skillfully handle it.  I mean, I was the student, right?  Wasn’t she supposed to have boundaries and skill and all that teacher-like stuff?  Well, in a perfect world, yes.  However, boundaries here have become very misunderstood and it can be relatively easy to find ourselves in a situation like this.  The tough part is that the student will often at first feel privileged or special or chosen – until that is, things start to get confusing – are you my teacher?  Are you my friend?  Are you my mother? 

The bottom line is your teacher is there to teach.  Period.  Relationship can and in fact must develop, but the boundaries around the teacher/student relationship are sacred and profoundly important to keep clean and clear.  And that, for the most part, is your teacher’s job.  You have your role in establishing your own boundaries, yes.  But you are also going to be deeply immersed in uncovering, discovering, and becoming YOU.  And that’s a big and vulnerable enough job without having to monitor your teacher for inappropriate behavior.  I mean, really.

*She is empowering.  Really, and truly empowering of you, your dreams, your Knowing, your wisdom, your skills, and your true heart.  In order to be this, your teacher needs to be free and clear of any unconscious, underlying agendas like keeping you where you are because she needs to feel needed or superior or wise.  Yup.  This absolutely happens.  A lot, actually.  Because teachers are human beings no matter how enlightened or wise they are.  Add to this the student who is hungry for answers and wisdom and connection, and who has learned to look outside of herself for these experiences.  You now have the perfect recipe for a potentially disempowering situation and relationship.  A spiritual teacher who has not done enough of her own inner work and become a relatively (at least!) healthy, conscious and aware human being, is going to unconsciously believe that she is the authority and will consequently be working out her stuff with and on…YOU.  Ummmm…no thanks.

*When you meet with your teacher you feel seen, heard, met, and understood, as well as more than a little bit challenged, stretched, and mystified.  You find things out about yourself which you always knew, but were afraid to Know.  There is a sense of the familiar in what your teacher is sharing, no matter how “out there” it gets.  And when you feel stuck or triggered or vulnerable, you also feel accepted, encouraged, and supported while you find the courage within to look at whatever has you all bound up.  Very rarely, if ever, do you feel flat out frightened, let alone terrified in her presence.  While fear is a normal part of the awakening process here, it should not be the most common experience with your teacher. 

*Your teacher laughs…a lot.  And you find yourself laughing a lot with her.  She knows how big and serious and forever life-changing all of this is.  But she also knows how to take it – and herself - lightly.  And let’s face it, a kick-ass sense of humor can go a long way toward soothing a frightened ego or an overworked, looping mind. 

*She does not collude with you on any level.  In other words, when you are uncomfortable and move into autopilot mode - cracking jokes, smiling really big, and basically trying to be anyplace other than where you are - she calls you on it.  Not in a mean-spirited way, but in a way which says, “Ummmm…  I can’t help but notice you’re smiling even though what we’re talking about is obviously really painful.  What do you think is going on?”  She will be a mirror into which you may look as long and as deeply as you like.  And there’s the kicker.  She is not going to force you into looking at or seeing anything.  She’ll leave it all up to you.  And that’s a really good thing.  ‘Cause we all know what we do when someone is trying to push us into going somewhere we are not ready to go – we’re either going to dig our righteous, cowgirl heels into the proverbial sand - as deeply as we possibly can, or we’re going to push ourselves right over the edge into someplace we are totally unprepared to enter.  A gentle nudge here or there, a little Divine kick in the pants now and then, fine.  But watch out for the push that has you feeling as though you’re contemplating jumping out of a plane with no parachute. 

*Your teacher does not give you answers.  What?  Yes, it’s true.  Believe it or not, you have not called in your perfect, most-wise spiritual teacher to give you the answers to your most important, long-standing questions on the meaning of life and what the hell you’re doing here anyway.  Turns out, you’ve called her in to help you find your own answers.  And even though she encourages you to ask your heart-felt questions about life, love, and all things spiritual, she recognizes that it would just be no fun what-so-ever to rob you of your powerfully sacred process of regaining your curiosity, your imagination, and your genuine love of the discovery of your own Knowing. 

Nothing, nothing teaches us more radically or deeply than our own experience.  If you had someone sitting there in front of you, giving you all the answers (no matter how much you think you would absolutely LOVE it), well…what would you do then?  You’d come up with new questions!  Because you really, truly do so love the game of forgetting and remembering, forgetting and remembering.  Really.  Trust me on this one.  I wouldn’t lie to you.  Really.

*She is not all about you “feeling better”.  She knows that what is good for you is that you’re feeling.  Period.  And since she is not afraid of her own emotions, she isn’t afraid of yours either.  So you can let ‘em rip.  She’s right there beside you, knowing that all is well, that your emotional floodgate opening is healthy and wise, and that in feeling your feelings, you are well on your way to some real and radical personal freedom.

*After you sit with your teacher, you often have the feeling that you’ve just remembered something important about yourself, or your life, or why your relationships are so challenging, or how to make the best chocolate chip cookies on the planet.  Something will have come to life within you which had been dormant or playing hide-and-seek or too scared to show itself.  It may just feel as if you’ve found that missing piece to your Heart-Puzzle which is mostly blue sky with a wisp of white, fluffy cloud and the tiniest bit of raven’s wing beginning to show.  And that is a very, very wonderful feeling.

*With your teacher, you know that whenever the time is right – after an hour, a day, a month, a year, or a decade, you are free and able to leave, to move on to the next part of your journey.  Your teacher in no way entices you to stay longer than what is in absolute alignment with your own Knowing.  In fact, all through your time with her, she makes it clear that you do not need her.  That you are working together because you have chosen to do so.  She did not unconsciously (or consciously!) recruit, or grab, or seduce you (as one of my teachers would say, “The teacher does not seek the student, the student must seek the teacher).  And she deeply knows that you would be absolutely fine without her in your life, that your time together is a gift for both of you which will, inevitably, end one way or another. 

This is very important to understand, for it is relatively easy for a co-dependent relationship to evolve unless both teacher and student are paying conscious attention to this one.  You are a dynamic, ever-changing Being and as such, will undoubtedly invite many, many teachers into your life.  Each one will share her own gifts and challenges and wisdoms which will be appropriate and rockin’ for where you are in those moments.  And then, hopefully on fire with all of your new, rad understandings, genuinely brilliant knowings, and life-changing Truths, you will move on.  Inching ever closer to that which you will eventually completely embody as the truth of the luscious, magnificent You.

*And last but not least, as you work with your teacher, you will notice that you and your life are…well…different.  Your inner life and your outer life are singing more in tune with the music of your own inner Knowing.  And as this happens, you notice your relationships are starting to hummmmm.  Life often now just seems easier, and you feel lighter and more available to yourself throughout each experience you call in, as it unfolds.  You have much greater access to your feelings which you are now so willing to feel.  Deeply.  And your courage, trust, and awareness in and of yourself are growing exponentially.  As you courageously dive further and further into yourself, you are learning that you actually like what you are seeing.  And in fact, if you really step back and look, your spiritual journey is turning out to be quite fun and even magical!  And there it is.  The sure sign that you are on the Path which is just right for you and your own unique brand of Being and breathing and becoming.   

So…why have a teacher?  Because you’re that committed to finding and knowing your Self, because you know you can do this, and because, while you know you’ll be doing 90% of the work on your own, you also know it is just way more fun and so much easier to have a friend walking beside you for part of the way. 

Now that you know what to look for, keep your eyes and ears and heart open, be choosy, trust what you feel, and keep placing one foot in front of the other.  Because, as the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”   Abra Cadabra.  Just like that.